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Monkey is still missing (presumed insane) out in the wilderness, so it is once again down to me to try and distill the South African cinema landscape into bite sized portions. I am going to try and streamline things a little more. I am also going to write a lot less in these previews, since Uncle Paul once pointed out, it is of little use to anybody (and less is more translates to I am really lazy!.)

So what do we have in store for us this Friday?

• Body of Lies
• Disaster Movie

Talk about a really slow week! Well, let’s try and make sense of it all!

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With the continued absence of Monkey it falls to me to try and provide some guidance in terms of what is showing at your local cinemas. I don’t really like the amount of attention that Monkey provided to some of the crap that has been coming our way, so without a further ado:

High School Musical 3: If you are a mindless teenager (or preteen) that is controlled by your peers, has no free will and craves the universal acceptance of your fellow wannabetards, you will go and see this no matter what anyone says. Everyone else need not bother. That is all I have to say about that. (The same goes for College Road Trip.)

So what has happened at the box-office since Monkey last took a peak:

• Lakeview Terrace
• Nights in Rodanthe
• Pineapple Express
• Stop-Loss
• Max Payne

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It is almost odd to have a box-office roundup without any definitively awful movies on the list.  While the critics are unanimous about the dire quality of modern cinema, audiences (voting via IMDB.com) at least found something they liked out of this week’s cinematic offerings.  This week the big openers are:

• Righteous Kill
• Eagle Eye
• The Strangers

While there are no masterpieces being released this week, it is still a breath of fresh air not to have any groan-inducing stinkers on the list.  The South African cinema chains seem to have gone on a mission lately to provide the worst kind of entertainment, so any respite is welcome.

Let’s have a look at whether it is safe to venture out to the movie houses, or if you are better served renewing your DVD rental contract…

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This week at the South African box-office: a period drama, no less than three comedies and an action film I thought had already been released!

• Brideshead Revisited
• Step Brothers
• Superhero Movie
• The Love Guru
• Bangkok Dangerous

Are any of them worth watching? Let’s have a look shall we…

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It’s time to face facts: It is weeks like this that have driven people from the cinemas and to the DVD stores in their masses. (Well, that and the poor service, stale pop corn, uncomfortable seating… but I digress.) The major releases at the cinema chains this weekend are:

• Death Race
• My Best Friend’s Girl
• Beverley Hills Chihuahua

Hopefully the weather picks up some time soon…

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(Seeing as there is a public holiday on Wednesday, 24 September 2008 some of these titles might open on the 24th as opposed to the 26th of September.)

(Don’t ask me what The House Bunny is doing up there… I thought that it opened 2 weeks ago, but the major Cinema chains both have it as an opener this week. So be it!)

• Choke
• Star Wars: The Clone Wars
• Hansie
• Open Season 2
• The House Bunny

In terms of South African cinema this week is a big one, with the release of the biopic Hansie. The best film no one will go and watch for this week is Choke.  The rest? Well, let us have a look shall we:

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• Hellboy II: The Golden Army
• In Bruges
• Swing Vote
• Space Chimps

This week we are in for a bit of a cinematic treat with two film festivals and some big releases!

By far the biggest of the commercial releases has to be action blockbuster Hellboy II: The Golden Army.  Hellboy II is directed by Guillermo del Toro (who helmed the original as well as the fabulous Pan’s Labyrinth) and has Ron Perlman, Selma Blair, Doug Jones and Jeffrey Tambor reprising their roles from the original. The plot centres around Hellboy and his team protecting humanity from an attack by the creatures of the mythic realm.

Then we have the black comedy crime caper In Bruges, starring Colin Farrel, Brendan Gleeson and Ralph Feinnes. Farrel and Gleason play hit men Ray and Ken,  forced to lay low in the Belgian tourist city of Bruge while they await a call from thier boss Harry (played by Ralph Feinnes.) There they get involved in a series of surreal misadventures involving  the locals, Dutch prostitutes and an American dwarf actor shooting a movie.

Swing Vote is a political comedy starring Kevin Costner as Bud Johnson, an ordinary guy who is thrust into the middle of the American presidential race.  When it is discovered that his vote is the deciding vote in a dead-even American presidential election his relaxed existence is turned upside down as he catapulted into the spotlight. Also starring are Kelsey Grammer, Dennis Hopper, Nathan Lane and Stanley Tucci.

FInally we have the animated feature Space Chimps. The plot centres around Ham III, a circus chimp and  grandson of the first chimp in space, who is sent into space with two of his fellow simians by an opportunistic senator (voiced by Stanley Tucci.)

Taiwan Film Festival 2008

This is one that I missed last week.  Cinema Nouveau, in association with the Taipei Liaison Office present the Taiwan Film Festival 2008.  This festival, headlined by Ang Lee’s award-winning Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon showcases the talents of Taiwan’s leading female directors.

The Taiwan Film Festival 2008 is currently showing at Johannesburg’s Rosebank Cinema Nouveau (until 18 September) and will be at the V&A Waterfront Nouveau from 19 – 25 September.  For more information check out the Film Festivals section of the Ster Kinekor homepage.

Air France Film Festival

Nu Metro Cinemas and Hyde Park Shopping Centre are screening the Air France Film Festival from 19 September to 1 October 2008.  This should be a real treat for lovers of French cinema living in Gauteng as there will be a total of 18 films screened, comprising a mixture of new releases, recent award-winning French films as well as a couple of African and American films.

For more information see the Nu Metro homepage. (The Mail & Guardian has a preview of it here, while Business Day has a brief preview here.)

As far as I can tell from the cinema chain websites, the big releases this weekend are as follows:

• Taken (Ster Kinekor)
• Bangkok Dangerous (Nu Metro)
• The House Bunny (Nu Metro)

I am a little confused by the release schedules of the two major cinema chains but will update this post should the openers change. (If anything, at least that gives you a reason to check back in closer to the weekend!)

Suffice it to say it is an underwhelming week at the cinema if these are indeed the openers with the most interesting of the bunch being the action-thriller Taken, with its starring cast (Liam Neeson and Famke Janssen) and prestigious production credentials (produced and co-written by Luc Besson of La Femme Nikita, Leon and The Fifth Element fame.) The story revolves around a former spy who is forced to call upon his old skills to rescue his estranged daughter from the slave trade.

Bangkok Dangerous is an English remake of the 1999 Thai film of the same name. Starring Nicolas Cage (who has fallen foul of critics and audiences alike recently,) this action film about an assassin having a crisis of conscience has been getting middling reviews from audiences and a panning from critics.

Lastly we have The House Bunny. Starring Anna Faris (of the Scary Movie franchise fame,) this comedy centers on a Playboy bunny who is evicted from Hef’s mansion and finds a home at a troubled college sorority house. While audiences have given it an average reception, critics have been less kind. Of interest though is the supporting cast, which includes American Idol runner-up Katherine McPhee, Colin Hanks (son of Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson) and Rumor Willis (yes, that Willis…)

Please drop by again later in the week when I will have detailed previews of each of this week’s releases posted.

Eugene