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Khaled Hosseini’s best selling-book, The Kite Runner tells the story of Afghanistan as seen through the eyes of Amir, a rich businessman’s son, and Hassan, his servant and friend.

Unsubtle, and told in broad strokes, The Kite Runner nonetheless manages to convey the decline of that country under the Soviet occupation and its savage rebirth under the Taliban after decades of civil war.

The principle story concerns the relationship between Amir and Hassan.  Although Amir is portrayed to be a good boy, he is often mean-spirited and uses his position of privilege and his educated wit to mock and challenge the doting Hassan. However, even through this Hassan loves Amir and would do anything for him.

Hassan and his father Ali live in a tiny hut adjoining the opulent home of Amir and his father, Baba.  Baba is a huge bear of a man (said to have wrestled a bear once himself) with a thick black beard and untamed hair.

Amir wants nothing but to impress his father and win his love – at all costs. He gets the opportunity when he wins a prestigious kite tournament, but that victory comes at a grave cost to Hassan and a deep betrayal by Amir.

Years later, after fleeing to America and becoming a successful author, Amir receives a call from his father’s closest friend Rahim Kahn, offering Amir the chance for redemption and a way to be good again.

That is how both the novel and Marc Forster’s 2007 film, The Kite Runner begin, but sadly they tell altogether different stories.
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I might be a little late on this one… But better late than never as they say.

Jean-Claude Van Damme is the quintessential over the hill has-been… While he was insanely successful during the ’90s heyday of over-the-top action movies, his attempt to outlive his welcome resulted in an slew of progressively poorer movies bearing his name.

Unlike his counterparts in the over-the-hill action superstar category (yes you Stephen Seagal…) Jean-Claude Van Damme seems quite aware of the rapid descent not only of his career, but of his life in general.

Which brings us to today’s trailer! JCVD is a comedy about a washed out action superstar returning to his homeland, being mistaken for a bank robber and being held hostage during a bank job.

P.S. I would like to personally apologise to Steven Seagal for that jibe up there. You might be an over-the-hill action superstar, but I am more than certain you could kill me without too much effort, and I respect that.

I have been putting off writing a review for Pineapple Express, the latest brotastic buddy comedy to issue forth from Judd Apatow and company. The reason for this is two-fold: One, I am lazy and Two, I was not too sure whether I liked it.

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Monkey is still missing (presumed insane) out in the wilderness, so it is once again down to me to try and distill the South African cinema landscape into bite sized portions. I am going to try and streamline things a little more. I am also going to write a lot less in these previews, since Uncle Paul once pointed out, it is of little use to anybody (and less is more translates to I am really lazy!.)

So what do we have in store for us this Friday?

• Body of Lies
• Disaster Movie

Talk about a really slow week! Well, let’s try and make sense of it all!

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With the continued absence of Monkey it falls to me to try and provide some guidance in terms of what is showing at your local cinemas. I don’t really like the amount of attention that Monkey provided to some of the crap that has been coming our way, so without a further ado:

High School Musical 3: If you are a mindless teenager (or preteen) that is controlled by your peers, has no free will and craves the universal acceptance of your fellow wannabetards, you will go and see this no matter what anyone says. Everyone else need not bother. That is all I have to say about that. (The same goes for College Road Trip.)

So what has happened at the box-office since Monkey last took a peak:

• Lakeview Terrace
• Nights in Rodanthe
• Pineapple Express
• Stop-Loss
• Max Payne

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Dear PreviewMonkey.com readers

I am Walrus (not to be confused with I am Weasel or The Walrus) and will be filling in for Monkey for the foreseeable future. My first order of business is to apologise for the lack of posts of late and offer an explanation for this sad, sorry state of affairs.

I will also like to reaffirm this website’s commitment to providing timely box-office information as well as the occasional movie and DVD review. But right now let us see what has happened to Monkey…

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It is almost odd to have a box-office roundup without any definitively awful movies on the list.  While the critics are unanimous about the dire quality of modern cinema, audiences (voting via IMDB.com) at least found something they liked out of this week’s cinematic offerings.  This week the big openers are:

• Righteous Kill
• Eagle Eye
• The Strangers

While there are no masterpieces being released this week, it is still a breath of fresh air not to have any groan-inducing stinkers on the list.  The South African cinema chains seem to have gone on a mission lately to provide the worst kind of entertainment, so any respite is welcome.

Let’s have a look at whether it is safe to venture out to the movie houses, or if you are better served renewing your DVD rental contract…

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About five minutes into watching Bangkok Dangerous I started getting a little worried.  The film, while far from being good, was not the travesty I was expecting, nor did it seem as terrible as critics had made it out to be.  Mentally I started rehearsing what I was going to write: “It takes a strong man to admit he was wrong…”

Fortunately (for me) the apology was soon forgotten. After about 30 minutes Bangkok Dangerous revealed itself to be a dire mess of a film. A true travesty of film-making. And then it got worse, a lot worse…

SPOILER ALERT: The rest of this review contains numerous spoilers, including the events from the conclusion of the film.

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This week at the South African box-office: a period drama, no less than three comedies and an action film I thought had already been released!

• Brideshead Revisited
• Step Brothers
• Superhero Movie
• The Love Guru
• Bangkok Dangerous

Are any of them worth watching? Let’s have a look shall we…

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There is no shortage of adjectives to describe The Diving Bell and The Butterfly. Words like amazing, astounding, triumphant, beautiful, harrowing and graceful are all appropriate.  Ultimately, though,  they do not do the film, nor the story it tells any justice.

The Diving Bell and The Butterfly is based on the autobiography of Jean-Dominique Bauby, a man who at age 43 found himself trapped inside a lifeless body, unable to move or speak and only able to blink his left eye. It tells the story of someone who, in spite of  that condition still manages to tell his story, one letter at a time when it would not be unreasonable to sink into utter desolation.

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